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The Moment It All Changed

Thirty years ago today the trajectory of my life changed forever.

One moment I was a healthy, happy seven-year-old running around our new house playing with friends, and the next I was being rushed to the hospital.  I don’t remember much about that day.  More like flashes really.  I remember collapsing in the first hospital, waking up briefly in the second hospital, and then nothing until the next day when I woke up in the third hospital paralyzed on my right side.

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Hope That Anchors the Soul

It’s been almost two years ago now that I sat in my counselor’s office sobbing uncontrollably.  She looked across the empty space between us and simply asked, “Do you have hope?”  I shook my head no.  I have no idea what she said after that.  It’s hard to hear anything when you are in a pit of despair and a storm is raging.

With some reservations I want share something with you.  I suffer from OCD.  Not the funny “haha I like everything in it’s place” OCD.  I suffer from crippling Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.  I hear people joke all the time about their “OCD kicking in”; however for those who truly struggle with this disorder, it is not a joke.

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Silence

Silence.

Not a word has flowed through these fingers onto this blog for over 18 months. Not because I don’t have anything to say…those who know me well know that I always have something to say.  Not a word have I typed because The Father has wooed me into the wilderness so that we can be alone…in the quiet…so that I can listen.

A friend once asked me what I liked to read.  I told her I didn’t read much.  She said, “But you are a writer!” I said, “Exactly!  I am a writer not a reader.  Just like I am a talker and not a listener.”  We all had a good laugh.  But looking back, I must have sounded so arrogant and immature.

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What Does Charlton Heston Have to Do with Easter?

Most of us have memories of watching The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston after a long day of hunting Easter eggs and eating chocolate bunnies. It was an Easter tradition in most American homes.  But as a child I never understood the connection between the Exodus story and the Cross.

I do remember being so mystified by the tenth plague where God, Himself, went through all of Egypt and killed the firstborn of every family…except those who had the blood of the lamb on their doorpost.  The Hebrew Sacrificial System was so foreign to me. And for real, what does this have to do with Jesus! Shouldn’t we be watching a movie about the Resurrection?

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For When You Are in a Holding Pattern

Ten years ago this spring, Michael and I visited our Pastor’s office for several sessions of pre-marital counseling.  Some things were very helpful. Most topics were very awkward as you can imagine.  We discussed finances, family history, goals…and intimacy. Yikes!

We had only been dating for a few months. These counseling sessions were revealing things that had not come up in the short time we had known each other.

I distinctly remember Pastor asking, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” My knee jerk response was, “Published.”

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Burnt Toast or the Bread of Life

“Give us today our daily bread.” Matthew 6:11

It is morning. I am checking off tasks on my morning routine “to do” list.

  • Shower. Check.
  • Dress kids. Check.
  • Start breakfast. Toast in the toaster oven. Check and check.
  • Fill sippys. Check.
  • Say our goodbyes to Daddy as he heads out the door for work. Check.
  • Empty dishwasher. Fill dishwasher. Check and check.

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You Make My Life More Beautiful

We live in a small house. There are only so many places to be.  I find it difficult to keep my small house in order because we are living on top of each other. My daughter and I have similar personalities.  You know the type that fills the room. Yeah, that makes our home feel even smaller.

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Reflections from #AWBU

Last weekend I attended #AWBU which my first blogging conference.  I have been a member of Arkansas Women Bloggers dating back to my time with Mosaic of Moms.  This was my first time to meet a lot of these women in real life.  Some have been a part of my blogging community from the beginning.  What joy it was to hug the necks of so many of these women who have been just thumbnail pics for years.

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